Bloody Mediterranean Delight
What Started it all:
Bacon, Pumpkin, mayonnaise, crockpot
Alright, listen up! You donkey bums, today we're gonna cook up a bloody Mediterranean masterpiece that'll make your taste buds sing. This dish is a game-changer, and I won't tolerate any amateur hour nonsense in my kitchen. So, pay attention and follow the instructions to the letter, or get out of my sight!
Ingredients
- 6 slices of thick-cut bacon
- 1 medium-sized pumpkin, peeled and cubed
- 1/2 cup of mayonnaise (don't even think about using low-fat, you numbskulls)
- 1 crockpot (yes, a bloody crockpot, don't question my methods)
Instructions
- Get the bloody bacon right: Cook the bacon slices in a pan over medium heat until crispy. Don't burn it, you muppets! You want it golden brown and smoky. Set it aside on a paper towel-lined plate.
- Pumpkin prep: Add the cubed pumpkin to the crockpot. Yes, it's a weird combination, but trust me, it's bloody genius.
- Mayo magic: In a separate bowl, mix the mayonnaise with a pinch of salt and pepper. Don't overdo it, you dimwits, we're not making a bloody sauce.
- Combine the chaos: Add the cooked bacon to the crockpot with the pumpkin. Pour the mayonnaise mixture over the top. Stir it gently, you blithering idiots, we don't want to mash the pumpkin.
- Let it cook: Cook on low for 4-5 hours or high for 2-3 hours. I don't want to see any of you clowns opening the lid until it's done, or you'll let all the bloody steam out.
- Serve with a smile: Serve hot, garnished with some fresh parsley or thyme, if you're not a complete incompetent.
There you have it, a bloody Mediterranean masterpiece that'll impress even the most discerning palates. If you've managed to follow the instructions without messing it up, congratulations, you're not a complete disaster in the kitchen. Now, get back in there and cook it again, and this time, don't make a bloody mess of it!