Bloody Mediterranean Delight

Bloody Mediterranean Delight
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What Started it all:
Bacon, Pumpkin, mayonnaise, crockpot

Alright, listen up! You donkey bums, today we're gonna cook up a bloody Mediterranean masterpiece that'll make your taste buds sing. This dish is a game-changer, and I won't tolerate any amateur hour nonsense in my kitchen. So, pay attention and follow the instructions to the letter, or get out of my sight!

Ingredients

  • 6 slices of thick-cut bacon
  • 1 medium-sized pumpkin, peeled and cubed
  • 1/2 cup of mayonnaise (don't even think about using low-fat, you numbskulls)
  • 1 crockpot (yes, a bloody crockpot, don't question my methods)

Instructions

  1. Get the bloody bacon right: Cook the bacon slices in a pan over medium heat until crispy. Don't burn it, you muppets! You want it golden brown and smoky. Set it aside on a paper towel-lined plate.
  2. Pumpkin prep: Add the cubed pumpkin to the crockpot. Yes, it's a weird combination, but trust me, it's bloody genius.
  3. Mayo magic: In a separate bowl, mix the mayonnaise with a pinch of salt and pepper. Don't overdo it, you dimwits, we're not making a bloody sauce.
  4. Combine the chaos: Add the cooked bacon to the crockpot with the pumpkin. Pour the mayonnaise mixture over the top. Stir it gently, you blithering idiots, we don't want to mash the pumpkin.
  5. Let it cook: Cook on low for 4-5 hours or high for 2-3 hours. I don't want to see any of you clowns opening the lid until it's done, or you'll let all the bloody steam out.
  6. Serve with a smile: Serve hot, garnished with some fresh parsley or thyme, if you're not a complete incompetent.

NOTE: Unless added by users, images generated by AI may not actually look like the recipe.