Mexican Bean and Cucumber Soup

Mexican Bean and Cucumber Soup
Chef Brainy
What Started it all:
Kidney Beans, Cucumber, onions, blender

A Refreshing Twist on a Classic


  • 1 can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 large cucumber, diced
  • 1 large onion, diced
  • 1 blender (yes, you bloody well better have one!)


  1. In a bloody large pot, heat some oil over medium heat. I don't want to see any of you using that crap, low-quality oil, either. Get the good stuff!
  2. Add the diced onion and sauté until it's translucent, you numpty. Don't burn it, you dimwit!
  3. Add the diced cucumber and cook for another few minutes, until it's tender. Don't overcook it, you muppet!
  4. Add the kidney beans, salt, and pepper. Stir well, you bleeding idiot!
  5. Blend the mixture in a bloody blender until it's smooth. Don't leave any bloody chunks, or I'll come over there and...
  6. Taste and adjust the seasoning as needed. You should be able to bloody well taste the difference!
  7. Serve hot, garnished with some bloody fresh cilantro, if you please.

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